How many of us have said “yes” to someone in the spur of the moment, not wanting to hurt their feelings, only to regret it later, all because we couldn’t muster the courage to say the seven least heard words in a Senior Pastor’s vocabulary – “No, I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”
Here are the 9 most common things I’ve told Senior Pastors I coach that I’ve said “yes” to, only to regret it later:
1. Saying “yes” to someone who needed to urgently meet with me because I was supposedly the only person who could really help them solve their problem.
2. Saying “yes” to take on a new ministry or responsibility when I knew darn well I didn’t have the time or passion to pull it off and would eventually drop it.
3. Saying “yes” to continue to provide support to a missionary who wasn’t a real fit for where we were going as a church.
4. Saying “yes” by encouraging a Christian I really liked to visit our church when I knew they were never going to be a theological or philosophical fit.
5. Saying “yes” to hire someone to quickly fill a hole on our staff team when they were obviously gifted, but not a good match.
6. Saying “yes” to a bad idea that was passionately brought to me by a significant giver who thought our church ought to try something new.
7. Saying “yes” by diminishing the seeming harshness of a belief to keep people coming to church.
8. Saying “yes” to keep doing things socially with someone that I knew I really didn’t want to become or stay friends with.
9. Saying “yes” to stay at a church because I had friends there when I knew I needed to leave and find one for whom I was a better theological or philosophical fit.
Do you have a difficult time letting your “yes be yes” and your “no be no?”